1. I thought we are ok. I thought he is one of my best buddies in my “circles of friends”.
It is so hard to find a friend whom you can trust. Friends you can lean on (bad and good times). I am an stranger in this place. First thing to do is to meet new friends and somehow become my best buddies. I thought I find and have one. But for one instance, the thought was gone, not really sure if it completely gone. Hoping just one eighth of it is gone.
I am in deep disappointment right now. I am disappointed in dealing relationship with my friends, myself (emotion) and others’ feelings.
Am I expecting too much from my friends? Or they expect so much from me? Or only I need them to fulfill the “being loner” in this place. For companion’s sake I befriended them? And in return they use the “being loner” of me that is why they made friends with me? Gosh! Whatever!
My conclusion right now is, it is better to make friends with those people whom I knew would say something behind me than making friends with those people I do so much believe that wouldn’t say something behind me but the reality is they do. Confusing right? Or this concept step up higher level of craziness? Tsktsk
Am I choosing the wrong person to trust?
Is this just a healthy FQ (friendly quarrel)?
Am I making sense here? ...or nonsense????
2. Since my friend and I can’t get along well these days. So, I am with new set of friends. They are single mothers. They are younger then me (5 years younger than me I think). I wasn’t able to spend time with these “girls” before coz my time and attention spent with a “friend and company”.
Tonight, is my chance to be with the “girls”. What is good (well I think it is good than better, right?) being with them is I don’t expect them to be my best buddies. I just enjoy and embrace their company. I just wait what does gonna happen with this new bonded friendship. Will it work last? Or will put in vain?
…no expectations
…no promises
What I realized is, be more considerate with the feelings of others. More patience will do also. Do not claim your friends as you owned them. Set them free (like a bird? If they wanna ask for a payment, just pay them). Give them chance to be happy with others or happier with others than being with you. Let us open happiness for our dear friends.
Friends may come and go. If they wanna go, let them go. Hey, don’t forget to say “bye”. But never cease treating them as your dear friends though the good memories you had with them before may not be as good as today. Be thankful if you don’t have a memory gap. How could you remember your dear friend?
Lastly, be friendly. And always be you. As what in the Desiderata stated: be yourself.
3. I thought I am good in making friends. Am I? See, I have so many friends. Different sets of friends. But, only few are true friends. Only few are loyal friends. Only few are trustworthy friends.
I am so proud having them in my life. Are they proud also having me in their life? Speak up friend, text me whatever your thoughts are. God is so good, all the time. He gave me very nice, caring and unselfish friends. They lend me money too if I am in deep need. Hehehe I never pay them back. Xiang and meme, utang ko lista niyo muna.
Thanks DARV, AUG and ESPRIKITIK for coming along and for sharing your precious time and life with me. Bow!
4. I was so stubborn the other day to my father. Father always knows best (not mother?). So shameful act I did. Sorry my dear avid readers (do I have readers here?) I don’t want to reveal the bad things I did. Ballot secrecy. Confidential. His words linger to my ears (no they never stayed in my ears). I know he’s right. And I am wrong. Well, there are only two options: right and wrong.
